Ymir Can't Live With Out Christa
by Angel the Guardian
Summary: Christa's dying and Ymir blames herself. Alternate Universe. No titans. One shot.


A/N: I am so soo so sorry for not posting any stories lately. I've been caught up in some issues and have recently started college. Forgive me? *lowers head and gets on knees begging for forgiveness* ~Angel.

The soft beeping of medical equipment could be heard along with the shallow breathing of the petite blonde haired girl lying propped up in a hospital bed as the dark haired woman walked into the room. She inhaled sharply as she looked at the medical chart that had been left out by a careless nurse, she gritted her teeth and bit back a growl when she saw the severity of the blonde's condition. "Christa..." The dark haired woman sat on the edge of the bed next to Christa, taking the small girl's hands in her larger ones. "I am so sorry..."

Christa's eyes fluttered open and she looked at the dark haired woman, a smile lit up her face and she gasped out "Ymir...I love you" Before her eyes slid shut again as the machine sent out a flat even tone that signaled that her heart had stopped. Ymir would never see those crystal blue eyes, brimming with love and happiness again.  
Ymir sobbed quietly, the pain clear on her face. She silently stood and moved out of the way as the doctors and nurses made their way into the room, though she knew it was useless. It was obvious that Ymir blamed herself but, was the fault really hers?

It was just two weeks before that day in the hospital, that the two females were living happily together in their little house they bought together a few months back. Ymir picked the smaller girl up and swung her around a happy smile on her face before pulling her down onto the couch. Ymir wrapped her arms around Christa and kissed her cheek "this is perfect, a place all to our selves, no one to come barging in on us at random." She chuckled burying her nose in the blonde hair that was Christa's. Christa hummed in agreement and closed her eyes contently, relaxing into Ymir's embrace. Ymir chuckled and kissed her cheek again before closing her eyes as well. The two women fell asleep in each-other's arms content with their life. Everything was perfect, just like Ymir said, but how long would it last? Not long enough.

A few days later Ymir was woken up by a cough, not a normal 'it's just a cold cough' but a serious cough. She turned to see a pale looking Christa sitting up trying to catch her breath, but not being able to, the blonde's lips were quickly turning blue, the darker haired woman quickly pulled on her shoes, and her robe and picked the blonde up bridal style, before running out the door, cursing loudly when she almost tripped over the rug on her way toward the door. She quickly got the pale girl into their car and sped off to the hospital, the dark haired woman parked the car right outside the building and quickly got out of the car, running over to the passenger side to pick up the now unconscious blonde form of Christa. After she picked her lover up she made her way into the hospital anxiously looking for someone to help her. "Excuse me, nurse! I need some help, she's not breathing and she's unconscious." She ran up to a young woman with flaming red hair. The nurse with red hair nodded and motioned for a doctor who had Ymir lay Christa on a stretcher, which they used to rush Christa back to the emergency department. The nurse told Ymir to stay in the waiting room and that they would let her know what was going on as soon as they could, she also said there would be someone along to ask her some questions. Ymir nodded then walked to the waiting room where she started pacing impatiently, her pacing was interrupted when she heard someone clear their throat. She looked up to see a man, shorter than her with dark blue eyes and brown hair, she lifted one eyebrow looking at him. He nodded toward her and asked her to follow him, she obeyed and followed him to a small room that had a few chairs, and looked like a lounge of sorts. "Sit please." He motioned to a chair that was sat in front of a desk. She quietly sat down, looking at him when he took the seat on the other sode of the desk. "First, my name is Dr. Levi. What would your name be?" He asked, his voice quiet but full of authority.

The dark haired woman cleared her throat before speaking "Ymir, Ymir Renz. The girl I brought in, her name is Christa Renz, my wife. Do you know what is wrong with her?" It was obvious she was worried and anxious to find out how Christa was doing so Dr. Levi sighs slightly and looks to her.

"Miss Renz, I am afraid that things do not look good for your wife. We are doing what we can to stabilize her, but if we cannot find the cause of her troubles, I believe we may loose her. Can you tell me when this episode started, and has she had any similar episodes in the past?" He spoke clearly, and slowly, choosing his words carefully as he spoke. Ymir frowned in thought before answering.

"Just...try your best..that is all you can do. The episode started about five or ten minutes before I arrived at the hospital, as far as I know, she has not had an episode like this in the past. I'm sorry I can't be of more help doctor." She sighed her voice shaking ever so slightly.

"It's perfectly fine. I assure you our medical staff is one of the best you can ask for, so there is no doubt they are doing their best. Is there anything new in Christa's diet, or maybe surroundings? It says here you recently moved into an older house, is that correct?" Levi asked, without looking up from the file he was reading.

Ymir nodded before speaking "yes, we moved, two days ago." Her eyes widened slightly while she thought. "But it couldn't be the house, if it was, I would be sick too, wouldn't I?" She asked, looking at the doctor.

"It is very hard to tell Miss Renz. If it is the house, it may be something that set off a preexisting disorder, or it may be something different entirely. It is too early to tell.." He looked up from the paper he was reading and his mouth twitched up in a small smile "don't worry, I will see what my team can do to help her." He stood and gave Ymir a pat on the shoulder before ushering her out of the lounge and back to the waiting room before going to the emergency department to check on Christa.

The days creeped by, the doctors kept Christa heavily sedated to keep her calm and to ease the stress on her body, they had made some shocking discoveries after doing intensive tests and many rounds of blood work. Soon it had been two weeks that Christa had been in the hospital with no major change for better or worse. Ymir had gone to the cafeteria to get some much needed food, when she came back, she heard the soft beeping of the machines in the room and the shallow breathing of her little blonde beauty lying propped up in the bed, she also noticed her medical file was there, the doctors wouldn't tell her what was going on, because Christa had asked them not to, and when a patient says someone can't know the information, it makes it illegal to tell that person. Ymir was reading though the chart and her breath caught when she saw the diagnosis 'lung cancer'. Ymir sat down on the bed, taking the small hands of her blonde lover's into her own. How could she have not noticed signs or symptoms, surely when the disease was this far along there would have been obvious symptoms that glared out at them saying 'hey! You need to go to the doctor!' Why didn't she notice something was wrong? How did she not notice the change in her lover's behaviours? She didn't notice that the once always outgoing, psychically active blonde stopped most of her activities, or she did, but she thought it was just stress. This was all her fault, if she had payed attention to what was going on, maybe they could have caught it early enough to make a difference. "Christa...I am so sorry..." She whispered, squeezing the girl's hands gently.

Christa's eyes fluttered open and she smiled "Ymir..I love you" she whispered back before the droning of the flatlining heart monitor drowned out all other sound. Ymir stared in shock for what seemed like forever before she composed her self enough to move to let the doctors through. She quietly left the room, tears forming trails down her cheeks. She saw the spirit of her lover leave the body the medical staff were working on, she knew she'd never see her lover's eyes again, or hear her voice. She couldn't live with out Christa. That was the one thought going through her mind. She walked out to her car, put the keys into the ignition, started the car, and drove home, she didn't want to be at the hospital for them to tell her that her wife was dead, she already knew. Ymir pulled into her driveway and parked the car before getting out and slowly walking through the front door of the small house she shared with Christa. Christa...I can't live without her..was the thought in her mind as she wandered to the bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet. She found a bottle of powerful pain pills, with a almost manic grin she said "I'll see you in heaven...My angel" she popped the lid off the bottle and swallowed all of the pills, washing them down with cold water. She then laid down on Christa's side of their bed, burying her face in the pillow, clinging to a picture of the two of them together, one single tear ran down her cheek before she slipped into everlasting sleep.

Post script: Yeahhh I know, plot twist from hell! I hope you all like this little one shot of a fanfiction. Please no hate for killing off these two! Originally I hadn't planned to, I was going to have Christa live and make everything just fine but then I thought 'where's the fun in that?' So I killed em. Again I am sorry if you don't like the ending, but I think it's touching. 3 this story is also AU: alternate universe. The titans never existed in my story. Sorry guys if you were expecting something to do with titans. Oh another thing, please please please review and tell me about any of my mistakes! Constructive criticism does wonders lol. That's all for now! Till next time.


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